Change your mind, and your will change your life...

Change your life, and your will change your mind...

~*~ Day 8 ~*~

~*~ Core beliefs ~*~

There is that  knowing... non-questioning... something that resonates inside you, that is a belief... a knowing... such as, for example... the color of the sky - which you perceive to be blue in the day... with clouds that can be white, gray, or darker... and night as black. The thought "the sky is blue is a neuron pattern stored in your brain. This is a belief!

Our beliefs can be regarded as the blueprint by which we create our reality. They are an integral element of the design of this physical dimension we operate within. Our beliefs continuously influence our perception of the world and our perception of the world is an action of interpretation of our reality.

A core belief has enough strength to so focus our perception that we perceive from the physical world only those events that correlate with it. The belief can reach into the most intimate areas of our lives and no evidence will be forthcoming to disprove it because we will only be able to perceive that which confirms it. Thus, it becomes invisible to us.

“Saturday Mthiyane (or Mifune) is our most credible story of a child who lived with animals. A living primary source, a direct witness, saw the boy of around 5 in the company of monkeys over a period of a year, in the Kwazulu-Natal province of South Africa.

Saturday is one of the few modern children to have been followed up. When the Johannesburg Mail and Guardian visited the school ten years later, they found that Saturday was still unable to speak. He had been taught to walk, but was still refusing to eat cooked food, preferring raw vegetables instead; bananas remained his favorite fruit.”

Research has found that nothing is as wonderful as an infant's brain and each child's brain has its own potential. There are a billion cells in a newborn baby's brain at birth.

Early childhood education between 0-5 years of age is a most vital stage as it is fundamental to all ages of learning. The firmer the foundation, the higher a building may be built. The foundation is core beliefs.

If children's brains, during these years, are neglected, the chance for further development is slim. It is much more difficult to learn during the adult age, unless stimulated brain cell interaction has occurred during the earlier childhood age.

Self is a construction of culture, society. Think about it, really think! Most of what you associate with your self is not yours (you didn’t get it with birth (biological beliefs) or you didn’t acquire it on your own). And you will not be able to do so, how could you, you only learn by repetition. If you took away all your experiences, from the early childhood till now, there wouldn't be your "Self", you would be like the feral children, just body with biological "genes/beliefs". Hence, you are not your "Self".

Should you examine the beliefs... that seem so natural to you, that you do not question them, you may find surprises. For you cannot separate what you 'came with', and what you 'added unto' that. 

Resources:
Spiritual Endeavors
Power first five
Ultimate Health Living

~*~ Day 9 ~*~

~*~ Belief and Everlasting Love ~*~

I have always been interested in philosophy. Nevertheless, the first thirty-five years I was busy with “life”, trying to get where I had been told I should be. One of the important and never questioned “must be and do” was getting married, family, and children. Like every young girl I was falling in love, breaking up, having fun, and experiencing life the way my peers did.

I believed in love and had a hard time breaking up or not having the object of my affection falling in love with me. It is not easy to understand and describe why I have never been married. I wanted to find a soul mate like every one else, I dreamt about family and children, but I never wanted to get married just for the sake of the status of being married. Many did. Social conformity.

There were some guys, who wanted to tie the knot with me, but I wasn’t attracted to them, and then there were men who I was in love with, but either they were not attracted to me, or the relationship with them failed. Sounds familiar, ha? The usual story of almost every one.

My mother died when I was seven, my father passed away when I was fifteen. I was on my own for the most of my teenage years, and it certainly affected my early development. I could write a book telling the story of those years, and analyzing the events and the environment that influenced my choices, and worldview. But...

To make a long story short, my first five years, those important years for building the foundation of beliefs about the world, I was unconditionally loved by my parents. My mother couldn’t have a baby for fifteen years and was trying everything to have a girl, so when she finally gave birth to a girl (that’s me), you can imagine how much she adored her. I was a late child, my mother was forty-two and father fifty-three at the time of my birth. I was born with a logical, analytical mind, and a rebel soul. To explain how I arrived at this conclusion would take forever, so you would have to trust me on this one.

My father was sincere, kind soul, but he was sixty years old when my mom passed away, and left us alone. I can remember clearly how uncomfortable I was, having an older father (a stupid notion that I would not forgive myself for the rest of my life). The next seven years my father did his best to raise me up.

There is no way to accurately present what was indeed happening; all my attempts to explain the impact of my childhood on who I am today will never succeed. These are my memories; memories are always subjective; memories of the events of my life, influenced by many unknown (not consciously realized) factors.

Nevertheless, it will give a sense of where I am coming from.

To summarize the above:

I was born with an analytical, logical mind, and a rebel soul. Overly emotional too.

The first five years of my life I was loved, that helped me (I realized it later in life) tremendously, in the times when I was completely alone, from fifteen and up. Helped me to stay sane and don't give up on people, whom I percieved being fake and cruel, most of the time.

From fifteen to twenty-three I was going through the hardest time of my life; alone, scared most of the time (perhaps, that’s why I am considered brave , as my friends think of me now), not mature enough to understand and make sense out of life on my own.

By the time I was thirty-five, I realized that something is not right, so I started asking the following questions: What is going on? Is something wrong with me? Why can’t I manage to stay in a relationship? Where is my soul mate? The most important question was: Why love ends? If it is a real love, it is supposed to last forever. Am I not capable of loving?

Little did I know, that my journey to find out what love is began and would continue for the rest of my life.

The belief in everlasting love, soul mate, marriage has existed for a long time and it is an illusion, albeit persistent one. For the next few days I’ll be posting what I have realized about this belief, and how the transformation of this belief changed my life and my relationship with friends , men, and people in general.

~*~ Day 10 ~*~

"Love is what happens to a man and woman who don't know each other"

Before we even meet that someone special, the one we fall in love with, we constantly imagine how it is supposed to be, what kind of person should be our true love.

Since the early childhood, we are exposed to the different sources that tell us what love is: movies, books, mouth-to-mouth stories, songs, operas, ballet, and many others. The world around us is totally engaged with the standard explanation of love.

We are hypnotized, and belief in love is created. If you ask anyone what love is, the answer would be pretty much generic, something we all learn while growing up.

The moment we meet someone we are attracted to, our mind gets busy with idolizing the person of our affection, creating an image of that person, and assigning all the best qualities that we think he should posses, mind creates “love” according to our belief.

Our mind creates different scenarios: how we would talk, kiss, hug, spend time together, have sex, caress, tell each other cute words, get married, and even have children.

Wow…all those scenarios are vividly, and emotionally imagined, and lived out many, many times, as a matter of fact, all the time, while we are being in love; and all of that happens in our mind. Meanwhile, we fail to see the real person in front of us, we are very busy being in Love.

“But as time passes, you reveal who you really are, and you see who the other person really is. The fantasies fade, and you’re left with reality. * The end of unrealistic fantasies. “Initially people have fantasy-based pictures of each other,” explains Advisory Board member Marty Klein, Ph.D.

It is an addicted state of brain, and dopamine is the main reason.

“Another possible explanation for the intense focus and idealizing view that occurs in the attraction stage comes from researchers at University College London. They discovered that people in love have lower levels of serotonin and also that neural circuits associated with the way we assess others are suppressed. These lower serotonin levels are the same as those found in people with obsessive-compulsive disorders, possibly explaining why those in love "obsess" about their partner.”

How love works

This is the classical example of one of the beliefs that create our subjective reality. Transforming a belief is a long process, and before one is ready for the transformation, one (basically, the brain) needs to understand how this change will affect the rest of his existence.

Grasping the idea is a conceptual knowledge, and the first step to a transformation, but it takes years, or lifetimes of living this idea through trials and errors (convincing the brain), before the belief is transformed. 

Nevertheless, the very first step to acquiring a conceptual knowledge , already affects the quality and energy of a relationship. The understanding and acceptance of "what is" are being born, and those are the first signs of unconditional love. 

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