Evolution of Marriage!

The following article describes the common problems in a modern family. The first part of it I found in tune with my thoughts, but I didn't agree with the second one. I'll write about it in the next article (part 2).

Basically, the first part tells us about the existing "problem," the second suggests how to approach it. Isn't it interesting and evident: If almost 80% of families are having the same "problem," then it is not just a personal problem anymore - it is a problem of a modern society. Without further ado, I present Dr. Michael Tobin!

"You can't make anyone love you and nobody can make you happy. Whew, is that ever hard to buy. I can already hear the screams of protest: "What do you mean you can't get anyone to love you? What a depressing thought! You mean there's nothing I can do to get my wife to love me? What are you saying? There's no love in a marriage? If so, why get involved with someone if they can't make you happy! Why are you telling us this depressing garbage?"

Well, the truth of the matter is, it's not depressing; it's liberating!

Here's how: First of all, we've all been hypnotized into believing that our true love will heal all hurts. All we need to do is find our handsome and brave Prince Charming or our beautiful and compassionate Snow White and magically all pain will disappear. Our perfect love will know how to give to us unconditionally; will be devoted to making us happy and will anticipate and meet every one of our needs and wants.

Our perfect love will heal all our hurts and will be infinitely patient with every one of our shortcomings. This compassionate and giving spirit will have one goal in life: To give endlessly to make us gloriously happy.

If there is anyone among us who has such a partner, please post it on our bulletin board. It's more rare than a snow leopard. The statistical probability of finding such a pure soul is about the same as a forty-two year old couch potato quarterback being drafted by the Dallas Cowboys. Sorry, but life just ain't like the movies. Your average hooker doesn't marry a billionaire Richard Gere look alike.

So here we are. We find what we think is our best chance for marital bliss and in the end our partner just doesn't deliver the goods. Here's the problem. We both think: It's my partner's job to make me happy.

What results is a battle between two unhappy individuals, each of whom believes that his or her needs are more important that the other's. So while he is worrying about getting his needs met and she's worrying about getting hers met, no one gets any needs met. Sorry, a relationship is not about getting someone to love you." to continue reading an article....


Evolution of Marriage (part 2)