The Sense of Control

Do you think that you are in control of your life? Is your life controlled by your own deeds and actions?

Control would assume taking certain steps to ensure that your life is productive. Hence, your deeds and actions are supposed to be impeccable. Oops! This sounds too good to be true. Unless, you have another definition of control, you are not in control of your life.

Do you feel personally responsible for your actions?

Your understanding of personal responsibility is formed in accordance with what you expect from other people. Your teachers taught you to exercise your choices in order to balance your own needs and your responsibilities to other people.

In particular, from early childhood we are accustomed to act in a manner that wouldn’t disappoint others.

Dependence on others - an integral part of our upbringing. How can we be indifferent to the reactions of those who care about us, who are the source of our physical and emotional security?

I want to emphasize that the desire to obtain approval from those surrounding us is prompted by the necessity of psychological survival. This is the way to achieve a close relationship, which provides you with the necessary sense of closeness and support.

It helps you develop sensitivity and compassion, vital for the formation of social position. The desire to obtain and receive approval by those around you prompts your actions and gives you a solid reason to feel like decent person.

The essence of authority is manifested most clearly in the first years of life. The behavior of a helpless infant or small child is almost entirely controlled by his family. Parents dress the child, feed him, respond to his cries, talk to him, teach him and inculcate him with their views on life.

In particular, because the child is required to obey the instructions of the parents, he learns to control himself. He learns that he cannot talk or behave any way he wants to.

Ironically, the sense of control that we have is nothing more than a suppression of those traits in ourselves that are not welcomed.

Basically, we are being in control of our nature, suppressing it, thus, not expressing it fully. As far as our deeds and actions, they were formed by society and family and belong to them. (smile)

The process of consciousness as the final stage in the process of learning is a complex multi psycho-physiological phenomenon of perception.

This knowledge requires thinking and expanding consciousness, removing false concepts one by one, and shifting the point of perception of reality.